What you may have considered safer sex could be putting you at risk for cancer. Startling new information about the prevalence of throat tonsil cancers in people in their 30s and 40s is connecting the dots between oral sex, human papillomavirus (HPV) and oral cancer.

This article and accompanying video explains why scientists are saying there is “absolutely” a connection between oral sex and cancer in people who are young, otherwise healthy, fit, nonsmokers who do not drink excessively. Recent findings derived from a longitudinal study are cited:

Johns Hopkins researchers reported in a study published in February in the Journal of Clinical Oncology that between 1973 and 2004 the incidence of HPV-related oral cancers among people in their 40s nearly doubled. Today more than 34,000 people have oral cancer and 39 percent of those cases are related to HPV, according to data from the American Cancer Society.

We know that HPV can be treated without leading to tumors. However, scientists also now know that the virus is passed by direct contact and doesn’t stray from the location where it is transmitted. While HPV does not get into the bloodstream, higher-risk strains of the virus contain proteins that make it impossible for healthy cells to repair themselves.

Scientists are now investigating the possibility that HPV can be passed through saliva in simple acts of sharing a spoon or drink and how sexual orientation may or may not be a factor in this formula.

In the meantime, we are being warned by the medical community about the upped risks of oral sex. Although men are 35% more likely to contract HPV-derived oral cancers, this is a significant health concern for women and girls.

It’s no shock that researchers say the number one risk factor is a high number of sexual partners. It only takes an intimate moment with one infected partner to be exposed to HPV. And clearly, the more partners you have, the more opportunities there are for exposure.

It’s this quote that brought this story home for me, said bluntly by a woman who is in remission from HPV-related oral cancer that was diagnosed when she was 38 years old:

“People think the face of oral cancer is a 70-year-old man who’s been chewing tobacco and drinking whiskey all his life,” she said. “But the face of oral cancer now is — it’s me, a young woman, healthy, nonsmoking, fit.”

This is most of us, right?

The report comes at a critical time: Studies show more teens believe oral sex is safer than vaginal sex and last year’s news was flooded with stories of teenagers actively engaging in oral sex with multiple partners and in group settings. The HPV vaccine Gardasil, intended to protect young women from HPV-related cervical cancer, has been discussed from message boards to national media outlets as parents and doctors have debated whether it is worth the pain and cost.

This means we not only need to be vigilant in our own sexual behaviors to protect ourselves from HPV and the possibility of throat and tonsil cancers, we also need to better educate young women about why oral sex they are engaging in early and often could have dire consequences later in life. I think we also need to be activists in supporting the development of an HPV vaccine for boys and more research about how this virus is raiding our bodies.

As for ourselves, we could all probably get caught up in worrying about how our college years might lead to oral cancer today. Instead of that, I propose we start talking more honestly about how we can have fun, delight in the deliciousness of bodies, sex and intimacy and still keep ourselves healthy and safe. Or at least healthier and safer.